Everything Important I Already Learned from Jimmy Buffet.

“Education isn’t equitable and it never will be,” I thought to myself one warm, July summer day, as I sat by the ocean, with “Jimmy Buffet live in Maui” playing in the distance, from my perch high-above it all in a  lifeguard tower.

Education, once the beacon of enlightenment and hope, is now a bobber that hides in shadowy depths of a culture reminiscent of the bylaws of Scientology, focused on retribution for the flock that wanders and wonders about what they just saw and experienced that clearly isn’t right. 

Equitable education roots itself in the ideals of equity and equality that are money pits for hopeful families. The backdrop of seniority-based promotions rather than meritocracy, fosters a culture where advancing personal stability and financial gain for the few, outweighs the pursuit of educational excellence. Teachers are cloaked in lifetime job security and prioritize self-preservation over genuine student welfare.

Children, the supposed beneficiaries of our current system, receive scant benefit of the doubt. This is contrary to accusations against educators that are met with legal defenses, reputation management, and the chilling prospect of future unemployability. Unlike adults, children lack robust protections in our current system from predators. 

Pouring money into public education and raising teacher salaries isn’t the panacea; instead, we need a fresh wave of educators steeped in contemporary culture and values, willing to share equal risk of scrutiny from day one with the protected patriarchs and matriarchs in the field.

The benefit of the doubt becomes a tattered punch card, traded for denial and evasion, contrary to the standards we preach and teach. Teachers liken themselves to Ralph Waldo Emerson or the John Lewis’ of their era. Elevated to an untouchable status akin to religious cult leaders or supreme court justices; hubris finds no parallel in conventional businesses, but mirrors the insular devotion found in historical sects like those at Jamestown and in Scientology.

Cease feeding this system and begin to empower administrators who truly lead and want to reform the dysfunction. Cultish behaviors breed salary disparities that echo income inequality, all while claiming moral high ground. Checks and balances, supposedly overseen by unions, often serve to preserve financial interests, beholden to private entities’ funding whims rather than the public good. 

Education has already been privatized under a system that benefits from appearing to be a public entity.

In Minnesota, several private entities collaborate with schools to provide educational resources, programs, and curriculum support. These collaborations can include companies like Pearson Education, McGraw-Hill Education, and Houghton Mifflin Harcourt; tech companies like Apple, Google, and Microsoft collaborate with schools to provide technology infrastructure; Khan Academy and Teach for America, partner with schools to offer tutoring, mentorship, and additional educational resources; professional development providers that specialize in teacher training collaborate with schools to enhance teaching practices and curriculum delivery.

It’s inside the specialized roles where Public Education begins to become more private. What is it we are trying to preserve in our current system that’s worth the current cost?

In lofty halls where learning’s torch once shone,

Now shadows lurk where merit should have flown.

With seniority’s sway, the cult does grow,

And students’ welfare bears a heavy blow.

The teachers, once the stewards of our youth,

Now shielded by a lifetime’s forged truth.

They claim to nurture minds, yet shroud their deeds,

In cultic airs, where no dissenting pleads.

Beneath the satire lies the stark reality that the system’s flaws, painted in broad strokes, warrant scrutiny and reform. Let’s dismantle the cult of seniority, foster true educational stewardship, and ensure every child’s right to a safe, equitable learning environment.

Cows and Cults

In the educational ecosystem of Minnesota, teachers graze on the varied fields of salary via private equity, much like cows munching on grass patches of differing lushness. Meanwhile, private entities function akin to the process where we consume cows then shape curriculum and provide educational resources. This collaboration is crucial, akin to the interplay where cows’ methane emissions impact us all, shaping the very environment they graze upon. 

Understanding these dynamics is vital as we navigate issues of equity, quality, and transparency within our educational landscape, ensuring a sustainable cycle of growth and nourishment for all involved.