Current Solutions to Mental Health Challenges Are Coercive

I Wanted to be the Best Husband and Father I Could

Shortly after I was married, just after I settled down, the root cause analysis of what made me who I was, became a money tree for therapists and pharmaceutical companies. I had called out into the abyss of mental health professionals because I wanted to be a better me, no matter the cost.

There was nothing wrong with me except that I wouldn’t hide and I wouldn’t pretend, which had already made me more free than 99% of you. There was nothing wrong with me except for my perceived need to be liked by you. There was nothing wrong with me except my relentless pursuit of your approval, which predictably would boomerang back after I didn’t receive it. I didn’t need drugs or therapy; I needed people, love and self-acceptance. The fact that I didn’t have people in my new setting wasn’t an inditement of mental health, but simply poor choices and consequences.

An Example of the Coercive Culture of Mental Health Solutions

“How are you feeling today,” our daring dean of students asked me on a nothing of note Tuesday morning in middle school. “Not great,” I said, and that was all the opening she needed.

She followed-up with not so subtle suggestions to take drugs to feel better. This suggestion, was followed up by the same suggestion, given by a tenured teacher with accusations of sexual misconduct against him.

Popping a pill during a team meeting, he attempted to show me that he was against the stigma of medicating for mental health.

We are not the same.

To survive the guilt of their behaviors and deserved stress that goes along with it, they medicated instead of feeling the shame that they deserved.

In retrospect, being a good person should have been all the tonic they needed. Instead, the pills and power structures allowed my colleague to go on, not feeling their earned shame due to our costly culture of medication.

I Took Your Advice and This is What Happened

I felt myself drifting away from me. As I would transition from medication to medication, I would wave goodbye to me in the mirror and say hello to this new chemical alternative.

Every therapist was the same, every building leader and *friend too. They would just repeat the rumor or story they heard or document they read. I was locked in a cycle, unable to move-on with the only solution being “I need medication.”

The come-downs and the come-ups would be a distraction from my issues of lacking personal connections. I was my mother’s favorite and losing her so soon in life was a huge hole to fill. It could have been filled with cats and exercise instead of costly therapy sessions and destructive medications.

In other words, if you’re a garbage person, I don’t have to tie my gut into a knot in an attempt to rationalize your behavior.

How Do I Feel Better?

Rigorous Honesty in 12-Step recovery honesty isn’t occasional or try your best, but instead it’s rigorously enforced, hence the phrase rigorous honesty. Rigorous Honesty means “telling the truth when it’s easier to lie and sharing thoughts and feelings even when there may be consequences.”

What I like about Rigorous Honesty is that it satisfies my human need for revenge while also providing soul cleansing transparency. No matter how bad the repercussions get, no matter how power coalesces around me, I am still the most powerful animal in the room. If I want to kill you (figuratively speaking), I just tell the truth.

Practicing Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) offers numerous benefits, including lower blood pressure, increased confidence, better sleep, and reduced anxiety and depression. BJJ enhances body flexibility and muscle strength, while fostering self-confidence and introducing you to a supportive encouraging community. I gain improved mental clarity, stress relief, and the ability to thrive under pressure.

Delayed Gratification for me is to feel hungry before I eat, need something before I buy it, and making connections not when I’m bored but when I want someone to laugh with. My body does not feel anxious when I’m hungry.

I feel the best about making purchases not when I have an anticipated need for them, but when I have an actual need. The hoarder or prepper mentality does not work for me. Instead, I choose an approach where when I’m hungry I eat; when I need clothes or distractions I buy or spend and when I feel like being not so serious I will reach out and connect.

These solutions allow me to feel more anchored to the world around me.

I want you to change and I want the infrastructure of mental health to be better

Mental Health has become a buzzword where everyone’s an expert in their quest for personal and societal control.